Gender Affirmed & Euphoric! - a SHAG Mini-Workshop - PART 3!
Originally Aired: October 13, 2022
Hosted by Artemis
Watch on IG @weloveshag
YouTube @weloveshag
If you haven’t checked out parts 1 and 2 of this workshop, read those transcripts here and here!
Next, let’s talk about some toys that we carry that are fun for gender play. You might not know about the structural similarities between a penis and a clitoris, and testes and ovaries. We posted on Instagram recently, so check it out if you don’t know what I’m talking about or want to learn more. There's actually a ton of overlap between the anatomical realities of the penis and clitoris in isolation, and in utero the two structures begin developing in the exact same way, with the same tissue.
I bring this up because, we can start to think about all of the toys in here as being for everybody and every body, rather than for only certain genders or bodies. Some of the toys are certainly designed with a certain shape or anatomical feature in mind, but we are creative people and can use anything in any way we like! Thinking about vibration as something that feels good almost anywhere – even just a vibrating back massage is a nice, relieving experience – starts to open possibilities. (The first vibrators were marketed as muscle massagers, after all!)
Polar Cub print by Eric Vogel - available for purchase at SHAG!
For example, this is a nice little cute vibe called the Vedo Kitty:
The design is great if you have a bigger clitoris, or if you want to use it on a penis, because you can split it, and it'll stay in place a little better than using a traditional little bullet that might be hard to pin down. This isn't a specifically gender expansive toy, but there's no reason we can't use it like that. Also, we know and love the Magic Wand, a super iconic toy:
This is a stroker - it's called the Satisfyer "Men Wand" - is literally just silicone attached to a wand, so that it vibrates:
The two little fins were intended for stimulating a penis, but they can feel good elsewhere on the body. You might look at our toy shelves and think, “Oh, this one is only for men and penises, and that one is for women with vulvas,” but that’s really not the case. Many times, the gendered toys are basically the same product with different packaging. Another fun example is the Tenga Egg:
This is a stroker that's meant to be stretched over a penis, but you can just flip it and use it manually. It's just like a soft textury little thing. You can touch anywhere with that! Stretch it over the head of a wand, and then you can get that same squishy nice texture on the wand. It’s a very versatile little toy.
Another gender-affirming product is the FTM stroker:
If you have a vulva, but have a testosterone majority body, or a larger clitoris, or some bottom growth, you can use this. It's the same exact principle as the egg. It's just a little bit more structured, so you can get a little suction going, and it's nice and ribbed on the inside. You can stroke with that, or create suction, or use it manually or on a toy. Another fun one that I just need to mention is from Banana Parts:
Banana Parts BumpHer toy, attached to a silicone dildo
This is a little grinding toy that's designed to go on the base of any dildo with a flared base. Then, if you're using it with a strap-on, this will be something that you can grind against. It has this nice, soft, squishy texture and some bumps. It can make using a strap-on more pleasurable for both people, so that there isn’t one partner not receiving stimulation, and instead both people get to have fun sensations from toys. I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about butts, because butts are genderless! Everyone's got one.
So, all butt stuff is great for de-gendering or playing with gender. Anyone can enjoy a buttplug! That's a nice thing to remember.
If you're interested in learning more, please come talk to us. Come visit us here in Williamsburg or message us online! If you’re interested in some self-serve learning, we also have some really great reading resources. We have this book called Is Gender Fluid? A Primer for the 21st Century:
This book features a little overview of some basic gender theory. Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love & Relationships is a book specifically about trans relationships, being in a relationship with trans people, being trans in a relationship, all that good stuff.
Bang is a masturbation guide. Masturbation for everyone, regardless of gender, so that's a really great place to start!
It can be scary to share some of this stuff, especially if you're new to thinking about it, or just wondering or curious to start exploring. It can be scary to share with a partner, so it might be nice to start on your own. This is a really great primer for all bodies, all genders, everything. We also have these two great zines that will help this exploration: Sex Without Roles: Transcending Gender and the other is Go Fuck Yourself: DIY Sex Toys. One is a zine devoted to gender bending joy and the other is about DIY sex toys.
Please check out our other workshops as well! I’m teaching Impact Play, and I’ll be teaching you how to beat up your lovers, consensually and safely, of course. You can view workshops on our YouTube or Instagram pages, or you can read SHAG Magazine articles, like this one, based on our workshops. Enjoy!
**This text was transcribed from SHAG’s live Mini-Workshop on October 13, 2022 and edited for clarity. This opinion piece is not intended to constitute licensed expert advice; all content is for general informational purposes only.**
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